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Attachment parenting
William Sears, an American paediatrician, writer and public speaker and his wife, Martha are two of the most well-known advocates of attachment parenting.
Attachment parenting, a child-rearing philosophy based on the principles of attachment theory, became popular in the 1990s.
This parenting style emphasizes the importance of forming a strong emotional bond between parent and child to support a child’s physical, emotional, and psychological development. Its goals are secure attachment, high levels of emotional intelligence and empathy, the ability to regulate own’s emotions and good social and interpersonal skills.
Core principles of attachment parenting include
birth bonding (skin-to-skin contact right after birth), breastfeeding, co-sleeping (or sleeping in close proximity), babywearing and responsive parenting.
Responsive parenting with newborns means recognising that a baby’s cry is their way of communicating, and responding promptly and sensitively to their needs.
It also rejects strict schedules or sleep training methods that do not take the individual child’s needs into account.
Attachment parenting practises with toddlers and older children include teaching emotional regulation, and the use of positive discipline that focuses on the underlying needs and emotions of the child rather than punishment.
This post will look at three books on attachment parenting.
Sue Gerhardt: Why Love Matters
Sue Gerhardt is a British psychoanalytic psychotherapist and author.
Her book Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Baby’s Brain was originally published in 2004. It is a significant work in the field of developmental psychology and neuroscience.
Gerhardt explains how in the early years of life a child’s rapidly developing brain is heavily influenced by the quality of early emotional experiences.
Her book also explores the neurobiological basis of attachment, and the roles of hormones such as oxytocin in bonding and emotional connection. Affectionate touch between caregiver and child promotes the release of these hormones, strengthening their bond.
The book emphasizes the role of primary caregivers in helping young children learn to regulate their emotions. This skill is crucial for later mental health and resilience.
Why Love Matters” presents complex scientific arguments in a way that is accessible for both parents and professionals.
Gerhardt contrasts responsive and positive caregiving with the negative impacts of neglect or traumatic experiences. These can lead to insecure attachment styles and vulnerability to mental health issues later in life
Gerhardt advocates for a change of social policy that increases investments in early childhood programs and parental support to help families provide the necessary care for healthy development.
Kim S. Golding and Daniel A. Hughes: Creating Loving Attachments: Parenting with PACE to Nurture Confidence and Security in the Troubled Child
This book is a practical guide on helping parents and caregivers foster secure attachments with children, especially those who have experienced early adversities. These early adversities include disrupted attachments, abuse, neglect and trauma. Parents, foster parents, adoptive parents, social workers and educators can find valuable tips and techniques in this book.
Hughes developed an approach called PACE (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy). This therapeutic parenting model encourages playful engagement as its first step. The second step is creating a safe environment for the child by accepting them fully, without judgment. The curiosity aspect of the PACE approach means showing an interest in the child’s feelings and opinions while demonstrating empathy makes them feel understood and valued.
The book includes examples and real-life scenarios illustrating the use of Hughe’s approach, helping readers understand how the principles of PACE can be applied.
The book also offers an overview of attachment theory and explains how early relationships and experiences shape a child’s development.
It discusses the importance of secure attachment as a basis for emotional regulation, resilience, and healthy relationships.
The authors explore how negative early experiences affect a child’s ability to form attachments, their behaviour and emotional regulation. The book highlights the importance of sensitivity, and providing an environment that is nurturing and predictable to help a child heal.
Robin Grille: Parenting for a Peaceful World
A very thought-provoking and insightful book that explores the effect of parenting for its implications on the wider society. Grille’s book includes both theory and practical strategies. The theory part of the book looks at child-rearing practices across different cultures and time periods. Punitive methods were the norm in the times of authoritarian parenting, while more nurturing and empathetic approaches have become the norm in recent times. He talks about the importance of responsive caregiving and secure attachments, as well as how our experiences of being parented affect our parenting. Healing through parenting is also discussed in his book, as well as the connections between parenting and social issues.
These are just three of the many amazing books out there on attachment parenting.
They all provide valuable insight into the connections between secure attachments, early childhood experiences and long-term emotional well-being.
